It’s Just Not Dinner Without Cat Hair

Somehow this afternoon, I found this link. I find it quite funny on how many of these apply to me…

You know you’re a cat person when…

1. You do not consider an outfit complete without some cat hair. I gave up trying to remove cat hair years ago.
2. You spend more money on toys for your cats than on the kids or grandkids. Well, not quite. But sometimes it’s close. Refer to the post with all the cat trees.
3. You consider cat hair in your food as extra fiber. And the name of this blog is?
4. You sleep on one edge of the bed because the cat is sleeping in the middle looking soooo cute! They need their beauty sleep too, you know.
5. You refer to your cat as your furry child. No human children will be born here, so they ARE my children.
6. Your parents wind up with a four-footed, furry “grandchild.” The Man’s mom always referred to my boys as her “grandcats.” My parents sometimes do as well.
7. You call home and leave a message on the answering machine for your cat. (Well, close - I talk to the cats via The Man’s Nextel when I am not home and he is)
8. You meow so well, you confuse the cats. I sound just like them. Have even confused The Man.
9. Kiss your cat more than 10 times per greeting. Kitty kisses….mmmmm….
10. No matter how large your bed is, it is not large enough for you and your cat(s). We have a king-size bed, not that you would know it from the space we are allowed to sleep in.
11. Poop has become a source of conversation for you and your significant other. Mostly - when are you going to clean the litterbox, Sheri?
12. The thought of changing a baby’s diaper makes you swoon, but you can pick up cat poop barehanded, if necessary, without batting an eye. Baby diapers are gross and stinky. Cat poop has been deodorized by litter.
13. You are unbelievably pleased to receive a cat item (any cat item) as a gift –especially from a “non-cat” friend. (They really cared even if it’snot your breed.) Lots of people get me cat stuff. I am just as happy with anything “cat” as I am with anything for the kitchen.
14. You don’t mind it when you find cat hair in the sink, tub, embedded in the carpet or your clothes, or mixed in your food. (Take an extra point if you don’t bother trying to remove the hair from your food). It’s impossible to keep up with it, so why worry?
15. You don’t think twice about trading licks of an ice cream cone with your cat. Been there, done that.
16. You have 32 different names for your cat. Most make no sense, but the cat understands them all. Yup. True.
17. You keep eating even after finding a cat hair in your pasta. Just pick it out. Geez.
18. You give your cat your last name. Yup.
19. You never think about how much money you spend on the cats (or how much debt you could reduce by not having them around). Worth every penny to me.
20. You often claim that it was love at first sight with you and your cat. It was…really!
21. You refer to yourselves as Mommy and Daddy. I am actually Momma.
22. You sign and send birthday/anniversary/Christmas cards from your cat. Well, just to The Man and him to me.
23. You snuggle closer to the cat than the person with whom you are sleeping. Pisses off The Man.
24. Your desk proudly displays your cat family. I have human pictures too.
25. Your cat sleeps with you. Until they get fed up and get in the perches in our bedroom.
26. Your parents give up on grandchildren and start to refer to your cats as “your kids” or your children.” (Bonus: they start to call them “our grandcats.”) See #6
27. You sleep in the same position all night because it annoys your cats when you move. Is it any wonder I have back problems?
28. Your cat sleep on your head. Just Sylvester.
29. You give your cat presents and a stocking at Christmas. This year, it was just a stocking.
30. You put off making the bed until the cat gets up. They look so cute, I just hate to disturb them.

These are just the ones that apply to me/The Man. Sad, isn’t it?

I have a craving. It’s driving me nuts. And it’s all because of yesterday’s line-up on Food Network. They showed…..the making of Twinkies.

I was a Twinkie eater from way back. There was nothing like biting the end off of that spongy cake, sticking my finger in the middle to get out all that god-knows-what’s-in-it-but-damn-it’s-good-filling, sucking said finger clean, and then eating the rest of the cake.

But now I can’t eat those Hostess goodies.

So what’s a gluten-free person to do? FIND A WAY. I searched the internet. I flipped through GF cookbooks. And now I have a way.

Twinkie Cupcakes

For the cake (slightly adapted from “The Gluten-Free Kitchen” by Roben Ryberg):

5 eggs, separated
3/4 cup sugar
1/4 cup water
2 tsp vanilla
1/2 cup cornstarch
1/3 cup potato starch
1/4 tsp xanthan gum
1/4 tsp salt
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp cream of tartar

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Beat the egg yolks and sugar until the yolks are light in color and thickened. Add the vanilla and water. Mix well. Add the cornstarch, potato starch, xanthan gum, salt, and baking powder; combine well to make sure there are no lumps.

Whip the egg whites and cream of tartar until they hold stiff peaks. Pour half of the egg whites into the yolk mixture; fold gently until incorporated. The pour that mixture back into the rest of the egg whites. Fold gently until completely combined.

Put cupcake liners in your muffin pan. Fill each liner 3/4 full. Bake for 15 minutes. Let cool completely before filling.

(Makes 24 cupcakes or “twinkies”)

For the filling (from Top Secret Recipes):

2 tsp very hot water
1/4 tsp salt
1 - 7 oz jar marshmallow creme
1/2 cup shortening
1/3 cup powdered sugar
1/2 tsp vanilla

Combine the salt with the water in a small bowl and stir until the salt is dissolved. Let cool.

Combine the marshmallow creme, shortening, sugar and vanilla in a bowl and mix well, until the stuff is fluffy.

Add the salt solution to the creme mixture and combine.

Once the cupcakes are cool, remove the liners and place on their tops. Fill a pastry bag fitted with a long tube tip with the filling. Insert the tip halfway into the cupcakes through the bottom; squeeze the filling into the cupcakes. (This stuff is thick and it broke my cheap-ass pastry bag tip connector thingy - just warning you - so I didn’t get to fill mine as full as I wanted).

Make a pig of yourself (I have already eaten 4 and they’ve been done for a whole 5 minutes!).

While the cake doesn’t taste like the real Twinkie does, I don’t care. It gives me the feeling of eating a Twinkie and I am happy. And I am probably going to be sick because I bet I eat all 24 before this day is done.

This isn’t the only craving happening in the cat house. Stay tuned…

I prefer the taste and texture of the latest version over the 1st one. Now if I can just keep it from sticking to the pot!